Christmas is a mere few sleeps away and I'm so excited! But not in the I'm-gunna-eat-my-weight-in-food-and-drink-way-too-much-wine way, but with a totally different outlook - Santa. And reindeer. And elves. - magic. Christmas this year is a very different experience. For a start, all month has been filled with festive baking, card making, random crafting and Christmas grotto stalking whenever, wherever; but what's most exciting about my first Christmas as a parent is that it's a perfect excuse to pretend.

We have hung the stockings ready for Santa to fill and we decorated our tree but (unlike last year) left it completely empty underneath until we get to bombard the tree with pressies on Christmas Eve ready to watch Amelie's little face as she discovers the sudden change over night! Not that she understands, but we do - and let's face it Joe and I need a good couple of practice goes at this stuff before she's old enough to realise what this Christmas stuff is all about. We've also been baking Christmas cookies - and yes they turned out gross and totally not any colour despite using a shed load of red and green food colouring - oops, at least Amelie had fun making them! Most importantly, we've got our 'Santa plate' ready to fill with milk and cookies and maybe a carrot for rudolf - but most certainly a whisky on the side, because the Santa in this household is partial to one of those, right Joe?

So I can't say I'm not excited. Our first as a family, but for me it's also a bit of an odd predicament. My family has grown with the arrival of our daughter, but it's also shrunk since the loss of my grandma. I've really come to love the saying 'it's not what's under the tree, but who is around it' because it's only when you don't have the option to have certain people there, that you really appreciate those that are.

I'm not going to bang on about how lucky and thankful I am for my two sidekicks that make up my family - instead I'm going to take a minute to remember those who aren't any longer with us, think of those whose predicament maybe isn't so great in this current situation. Not everyone is blessed with a large family, many are fighting battles related to family circumstances, illness or financial matters. I spent one Christmas totally alone a few years ago. I was so ill I couldn't even move, and didn't see it appropriate to ruin everyone else's Christmas (and to be fair I honestly couldn't move and just slept all week) and it was the worst feeling in the world - so lonely! So if you can, smile at the stranger who smiles at you randomly in the street, give that elderly person the comfort of a conversation when they start one while you're out and about, and maybe check in on your neighbours or pop a Christmas card through! Not everyone is filled with joy this time of year.

I do want to end on a positive though and I thought I'd compile a list of things that (like everything else) changes when you're a parent. (And no I'm not talking about my pelvic floors... But yes they're still shit!)

1. It's so hard not to give your kid their present early. I've actually given and replaced three of Amelie's toys!
2. You can't drink like you used to! For us Christmas was always about finishing work, stuffing our face with Christmas food and drinking glass after glass of wine.
3. You can't go out for festivities with friends - or at least not until you've sorted a baby sitter but that's EXTREMELY hard on Christmas Eve!
4. You send Christmas cards - to everyone... Because you're a grown up now (pahahaha)
5. You have to surrender at least 75% of the presents you would have received because the new person in the limelight is the new addition - and guess what? You LOVE it and it doesn't bother you in the slightest.
6. You wrap your own present. I actually wrapped one of my own this year!
7. You have to put your tree somewhere out of reach like on a table.
8. You visit EVERYONE. Because they wanna see your kid - and because you wanna hand over your kid and catch a break.
9. You can't sleep off Christmas Eve drinks - they're up early.
10. You do not wait in a civilised manner to open presents after Christmas dinner. You run like a wild animal and get stuck in to anything and everything that's under the tree.

Wishing everyone a merry Christmas and fabulous festive period. 🌲