We are the generation who lead 'perfect' lives, who do no wrong and behave with the knowledge that we exist in the public eye on social media platforms. And that comes with a serious amount of effort on one's part to conform to societal expectations on so many levels. Parenting? Observed and judged like no other!
It recently occurred to me at play groups. As I sat cosy on a chair, delving into my phone and a cuppa whilst my child played (happily) in the middle space which was filled with toys, I caught glimpse of a watchful eye. Why was this woman staring at me? Uneasy, I carried on reading about how I can best achieve flat abs in 6 weeks (partly because I didn't believe it was possible, and because I so longed for a shift in my post pregnancy acquired flab-band) but I couldn't help looking up every few seconds to check if the stare had shifted. It hadn't. It had multiplied! The parent/grandparent duo sat intently next to their chunky monkey of a child were searching for (me) the mother of this little girl who was gorilla crawling across the large open space of play area. God forbid kids actually explore, and move from the station of toys at which they are initially put, right? Why shouldn't my kid, who has spotted a train track across the hall make her own way over, away from the building block area at which I had left her?
What I believe: I think it promotes independence.
How it feels: a milliongazzilion eyes on the mother who is glued to her phone and has left her kid to it.
The walls of any (ok, many) play areas are plastered with 'please ensure your child is supervised throughout the session' posters. Shit! That's why I look like a god-awful mum. But truth be told, I am supervising. In between sentences, I'm always taking a glance over Amelie's way. Hell, if I was so detached from the world and stuck in my phone I wouldn't have noticed the judgemental stares. Why are the mums sat in pairs gossiping not getting funny looks? One kid had pushed over at least 4 babies for zero bloody reason, yet his mother is oblivious because she's still talking about the ingrown hairs on her armpit (true story) and getting advice from her friend about whether waxing alleviates such traumas in comparison to standard shaving. Mine? She's just exploring her little play world (probably only for another 5 minutes before I head over and offer her some company) unless some kid clambers over to make friends with her... In which case I leave her to socialise. Yes, I let her take toys from other kids, and yes I leave her to it if others take from her. But I keep a watchful eye. Why should I be there to limit and butt in on every encounter. If she looks to be upsetting another child or vice versa of course I'll be there in a flash. Same can be said for when she's attempting to climb on a toy she clearly cannot use, but why is it not ok to leave our babies to it otherwise? Am I alone in thinking it's good for them?
I have no real 'point' or conclusion on this - this is just like a little memoir type post and would love to hear publicly or privately if anyone else thinks this way or if I'm getting it all wrong once again!
#mumhelpneeded
