MORE than half a year in with ‘mum of 2’ status and I’m still drinking copious amounts of gin whilst thinking ‘Fuck Me, that was a tough day’, at the end of most days. On my days off booze (because alongside mum of two, I’ve not quite yet gained my ‘alcoholic’ badge) I eat like a genuine pig. Chocolates, cakes, crisps the higher the calorie, the better. But I did make a promise to myself that I’d start to cut down on this disgusting behaviour and do more exercise. I’ve been for one run. I’m just too tired of late. And don’t my eye bags show ! One of my legit prettiest friends texted me the other day claiming she looked 40 and homeless (she’s a mum too) and left me thinking that if she genuinely believes that’s about herself, I must be a corpse! Oops. Hahahaha.
I am having fun though. I spent the best part of a year recovering from sleep deprivation with Amelie, after having spent a year not sleeping more than on average 4 hours a night, and I was miserable. I set on a mission to show how misrepresented motherhood was and that it was a bloody big effort and not just a year of ‘playing’ and cafe dates with friends. This time, I feel rotten and exhausted a lot of the time, but I’m embracing it because shit me, no thanks ever again, but also because I see how two years flew by with Amelie - so it won’t last forever. I’m focusing on the good and the funny. My babies are literally the funniest ever. Olivia has begun this thing where she growls to express excitement, and it’s so bloody weird that it has me in stitches. Amelie has taken to being an amazing big sister and the two just bounce off one another. Olivia also does this really cute move where someone smiles at her and she just screams... and looks a bit possessed if I’m honest, so that’s fun...*buries face in hands*
When your kid can sit well, it’s a revolution. Like well done mama, you’ve passed go and you can collect a piss in peace. I can just scatter a few pillows around her and have a guilt free trip to the loo. Bliss. Or at least it would be, if she wasn’t already keen to crawl, so is always on a quest, but actually ends up flopped on her face, with a trapped limb at which point my pee is no longer peaceful and it’s a mad dash to rescue the baby. I’ve tried menial tasks like putting some cereal into a bowl and nearly got as far as the milk part. One time I tried buttering a bit of toast and heard a baby cry, checked and saw she just fell over (onto a pillow) so I carried on quickly finishing off breakfast for the toddler... who was so engrossed in CBeebies (still my free childcare) that she either couldn’t hear or couldn’t give a shit about her screaming, collapsed sister.
Food shopping is a no go because it costs too much to bribe Amelie to behave. Sand is a disaster because Olivia is desperate to get involved, but when handed any amount of sand freaks out and screams all while Ammie is boasting over, or begging for a sand castle being built. Swimming is a good one, as they both get involved and play nice - though I’m yet to feel comfortable with my newly acquired pouch. Flour is a firm favourite! A big tuff tray full of the stuff and they are both in their element. Honestly I’ve found that the key is routine. So they both know way to expect and you as well have a structure to the day! Ours goes like this:
Wake up, get to preschool or a play group. Baby to sleep just before lunch, a bit if mummy/ammie play (I can put the baby down for sleep time now) then out again for a small outing or some sort of structured or sensory play set up at home.
It’s so easy to overlook the ‘accomplishments’ so as mentioned, I can now put the baby down for sleep time. She no longer needs rocking but Just prefers to lay down. I mean, the truth is she’s such a stubborn character that she outright refuses to sleep most of the time unless it’s laying down in bed or mate. The car seat and very rarely the buggy. We went to a wedding recently and Olivia decided she will not sleep, until she got exhausted and slept 15 mins. The entire day! But she does like the car seat now and she’s eating three meals (and some) a day so not bound to just milk bottles! But it’s not all uphill as is always the case. My fabulous sleeper has become a dick sleeper and is ALWAYS awake 1-3 or 4 am. Any takers for a ‘pop round and see the baby’ sesh during this time .... hit me up, you are more than welcome! Amelie on the other hand IS SLEEPING 12 UNINTERRUPTED HOURS ! You win some, you lose some. But I’ve come to worship the phrase ‘it’s a phase and it’ll pass’. If I could tell 27 year old Viv that in a matter of a couple of years, you’ll be able to just kiss your child goodnight and walk out, then 5 minutes later have a snoring little one - I’d have got through baby Amelie’s horrific sleep habits no trouble.
So trying to stay positive, but losing my shit quite frequently is the story of my current life, but I’m already so sad this is our last full year together because as of September 2020, Amelie will be in SCHOOL, so I’m determined to make it a good one and enjoy it, and make as many memories as I possibly can!
Have no expectations, and take each day as it comes is probably the best bit of advice I could give myself! Often I’m surprised at how well a day I worried about has gone or how much fun a relatively ‘boring’ day has been! They literally are my world, and if my world consists of no sleep and lots of coffee then I shall try my best to embrace it in all its glory ❤️