So my very first motherhood post -ironic really as I can just about say I've caught up on sleep, and it's the only reason I'm able to start writing a blog again! I'm going to save all the pre 12 week drama for my project - watch this space - but this blog is for the day to day runnings of being a mum, and my journey of figuring it all out! It starts with sleep.
So, the last couple of weeks, sleep has been a major thing in the Rose household! We've been getting loads of it ! So we decided since mini me (or mini Joe more realistically) is sleeping more, we should start sleep training! Good shout on joes part! First try, we decided 7/7:30 was the goal so we did the whole bath time, bottle and cuddle routine which we had grown used to doing (it really does just happen without having to consciously decide on it) but we did it 3 hours earlier at 6:30 rather than 9:30. By no means had I thought 9:30/10 for a few week old baby was acceptable - and boy would I have been happy to see the back of her for the day at a much earlier time, but the truth was, she just would not settle until 10 ish anyway however early we started 'the process'. But she was 8 weeks and we decided why not try again! Since then it has been a success and relatively easy affair. First week, she slept within minutes, second week was a bit hit and miss and this third week has been hilarious (but a bit harder)
She takes on average half an hour to fall asleep now, so not too bad but worse than 5 minutes! I feel super mumsy and I've taken my first steps into sleep training. It's hilarious! Tedious, strenuous and boring but for me, it's mainly hilarious. It starts with the perfect angelic sleeping baby in your arms as she's milk-drunk. As SOON as the little madam is put into her gro-bag and bed her beady eyes are wide open and staring at you! Cue the dummy-holding-in-because-your-child-cannot-keep-it-in-place.
The grunting..
That's the first thing that makes me feel like my head is going to explode as I try and hold in a laugh. These babies grunt like they are at war... Amelie is at war with sleep no doubt!
Spying on my own child
I literally get a sore face every night from squinting. Yes, lying to your children starts early. Everynight I make her think I'm sleeping but obviously am counting down until she is asleep - and I love the moment that they let go of the world for the day and get blessed with the peaceful look on their faces - so I spy. The funny part is sometimes I open my eyes just to give my face a rest and she catches my eye. I don't pretend to sleep because I believe she thinks I'm sleeping .. It's because you must not make eye contact according to my parenting guide. So anyway, I've made the dreaded and forbidden eye contact, and the slip up on my part lights up my toothless baby's moon face! She even laughed one time as though to say 'I got you bitch!' One time, she gagged so I opened my eyes and mid-gag she was still smiling. These, are hard things to keep yourself not laughing out loud about.
Numb arm:The eye brow and nose stroking
This is a joke - my arm feels worse than a work out it burns so bad, yet I cannot stop stroking my baby's face or head in a bid to get her to bloody sleep. The second she drifts is not the time to withdraw said soothing action, oh no, it's essential to carry on at least 2 minutes after the baby has 'settled' so as to avoid the instant wake up post relaxation. This is hard to recover from. Although it works, it's difficult to decide what to stroke - babies are very selective about what feels soothing on which particular night !
The dreaded soiled nappy
Finally she's down - I smell something foul. So literally I wait to see if it's a lingering fart (or gassypops as I should now be calling it) or a great big inconvenient shit (or poopies) once the smell has lingered a little too long, you're obliged to check and EVERY time I'm conned. I have an I should have left it well alone cuz my kid is now awake moment! Grr.
Tiptoeing
Once all is well and the kid is off in the land of nod im kidding not - I was not blessed with one of these 'sleep through a hurricane' babies. Mine wakes at a creaky floorboard so everything is silent. Except for the TV which is playing 'womb sounds' or 'rain sounds' - whichever I can bare to hear for the millionth time ! I might moan about the mono tone white noise, but it really is a lifesaver and has put Amelie to sleep and nap a million times over without which she would never just sleep. I STRONGLY recommend YouTube and womb sounds ! Anyway the noiselessness... This is a big argument starter for the wife who has been blessed with a baby-oblivious husband. By this I mean, slamming drawers, traipsing around the house like a dinosaur and the like. This actually happened one night as Joe was cooking dinner. Instead of being thankful, I just lashed out at him slamming drawers and throwing the chopping board down. I do feel bad in hindsight, but it's seriously hard work putting a kid to sleep once they've been woken up!
Bliss
Once the baby is asleep... Wow, have a bath, get the wine, do your nails, eat in peace - the list is endless. Suddenly all these things come into my head that I want and need to do! Usually, it's housework that wins (fml) each to their own - some women are very "housework what? I've been busy raising a baby" and that's fine, I wish I could be like that, but when our house is messy it just bugs me.. A lot! So most evenings, I clean and maybe do some laundry! The quality time with Joe is lovely and going to sleep together rather than taking ammie/sleep shifts separate is the thing I missed most!
I'm told a baby's routine is never set and always changes, but for now - I'm just going to give myself and Joe a pat on the back (we did it!!) and relish in it, whether it lasts or not.
I'm by no means an expert but I wish I had a library of strategies for lots of things over the past 12 weeks, so below I have written what has worked for me.
Last nap about 4:30 (any later and I struggle) and then some play.
7:00 bath time with a little bit of lavender infused bubble bath*
7:10/15 bottle
15 minutes of cuddles after bottle is finished to soothe baby into a deeper sleep
Womb sounds played
Gro-bag and bed
Laying next to the baby I try and let her put herself to sleep and if she's restless stroke her face/hand
I leave womb sounds on for about half an hour after I leave the room.
*I use earth friendly baby calming lavender bubble bath - http://m.johnlewis.com/mt/www.johnlewis.com/earth-friendly-baby-calming-lavender-bubble-bath-300ml/p1471125#page_loaded it's a bit pricy, at around £6.00 but you really don't need much. I've had no problem with it but some mums find it dries their baby's skin so I recommend putting a small amount in the water.
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