So today was the first day I felt like a real mum. Ok this bizarrely testing day was one I couldn't have even made up, and for today only I felt like Supermum! (Which for me is a great feeling considering I've been doubting myself since the day I discovered exactly how much sleep I'm losing) I felt for the first time that I am going to be alright at this mum thing and thought to myself "you know what I can do this!"
So, we had a swimming lesson. So exciting, so fun, so super mumsy. But no, I was filled with terror because we had to quit our baby massage class as Amelie just cried inconsolably - and I mean EVERY time I opened the door to 'try again'. I came to understand that my little pickle was in fact shy. Judge me, mock me, think of me as over the top - but I really am telling you, the baby was all smiles until about the third out of five mummies turned up. Then it was screaming non-stop. So much that I had to take her home (to the car) half naked because my, by then, blue-in-the-face-from-screaming baby just wouldn't tolerate another second of 'mummy's dressing you' time! Lucky it was a hot day !! Anyway, that was then and this is now - but you can see why I worried so much that my shy baby would become overwhelmed !
So, the nervous me took to the car, and as I said - I was Supermum so being as super as I was today, I thought what's better than to take Joe his lunch he'd forgotten..? So after getting petrol (another thing that I dread doing with a baby) I made my way along the bypass for my 15 minute journey - that turned into 55!!!! Some traffic jam that delayed us meant Joes lunch was to remain in the footwell of my car, we had a swimming lesson to now rush to. Swimming is a calculated business with a 3 month old! You have to ensure they nap enough - for me the car journey would ensure a good amount of sleep, and the other crucial thing was milk - they need to be fed right up to last the whole 30 minute swimming lesson! So I had prepped a bottle like ordinary mums do, nothing super about this yet, and off I went!
Once we were out of the traffic jam, my well rested baby was inevitably hungry. I had planned to be there by then and be relaxing and feeding her ready for a swim, but where was I? About half a mile past my starting point at home ! More traffic! So, Amelie did a poo, and after wiggling around a fair amount I pulled of and whacked on my trusty hazards and cleared the boot ready for a nappy change. There's something very empowering about pulling over in front of hundreds of cars and getting ready to step up to the mum plate and get on with these unavoidable duties... But only if you look like you're managing. So, I made a serious point of looking like i had this under control! So much so that I thought fuck it, I'll strip her off totally and just get her ready into her swimming nappy and swimming costume. Her goosebumped little self made a few grizzly noises but she was fine (and clean) and off we went. Well, my baby is a routine baby (lucky for sleep, but not so lucky for feeds) she has come to learn that usually nappy changes are followed by a bottle, and the shocked and wholly let down look on her face when I simply plonked her back in her car seat signalled that a tantrum was on the horizon. It's similar to when you can smell the rain but it hasn't started raining yet. I glanced over at my grumpy baby, and her lips began to curl. Shit! She wants feeding ?! If I stopped and let the leisurely eater suck her bottle at her relaxed pace, I'd have never made it. Plus, I was already taking a diversion and changing my route to avoid having to queue further.
Anyway, I decided it'd be wise to feed her as I drove. One-handed indicating, gear changing and steering all whilst trying to keep the bottle in a wiggly Amelie's mouth is NOT advisable. I mean if I felt dangerous or unsafe I obviously wouldn't have done it, but it was a balancing act. Hard and a lot of effort, but doable. I did have to take a break from the feed to manage a hill start - I'm not the stig! So as my little pea chomped away on the last few sips of her milk, I realised I would NOT have time to make up another bottle at swimming (as I would be late or just on time) so the options were face a screaming hungry baby after swimming whilst blowing incessantly in her bottle to cool her milk down, or make one up now! I thought it was wise to make one whilst stop starting in ANOTHER traffic jam! This actually wasn't so hard, but in hindsight it was pretty ninja ! By this point I had a little over 10 minutes to make it and was furious at yet another traffic jam, but it turns out - and I kid you not, a small group of people were marching WITH A COUPLE OF COWS and carrying an empress looking lady on a throne. No idea what that was about!
So luckily, the milk drunk bub had gone to sleep, heart FM was keeping me (half) sane and I had 8 minutes to make it. Sat nav was adamant I had 'reached my destination' and I saw nothing in sight. I caught sight of a lady who had let her dog out for his business and asked if she knew which of her neighbours had a swimming pool and ran baby swimming classes. She looked at me like I was high, or maybe she was high I couldn't quite tell. Anyway, after a quick phone call I discovered sat nav was a bitch who wasn't on my side, and I finally found the place ! At 12:59, Miss Rose and I balled in, stripped off to our swimmies and MADE our swimming lesson. The little star was not fussy, nor did she cry, I even got some smiles out of her!
Later, we had a cuddle in the car and a big bottle of her favourite, milk. Then we came home to play and had a nap together. Today has been one of my favourite days with the princess and I couldn't be prouder of her. If it wasn't for the amazing bond and trust we have, we would never have got through a 2 hour car journey and such chaotic situations.
There are lots of days I question if I'm doing ok, or if I'm doing it right... But today for one day only, she made me feel like the best mummy in the world to her.
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