"Thanks for leaving the kitchen messy again ffs. I tidy all day and you mess it up every time you do anything. You literally have no respect for how hard it is to keep it clean. Thanks for appreciating my effort, I'm done cleaning up after you."
I want to explain myself and say that although I had promised to help with tidying up, it was half an hour before Amelie's bedtime, and I chose to play with her. Then I just somehow forgot. I have so much to keep in mind all day and for that I'm sorry but I also want to see my little girl. I know you tidy whilst looking after her all day, but that's just it. You see her ALL DAY, and I get half an hour or maybe an hour if she can manage staying awake. So I chose her.
Instead I just opt to say a simple 'sorry', because I really am. But I don't want to try and justify it because it's not really justifyable. My wife keeps a tidy house alongside the hard work of a baby, I should've done it later. That, and trying to make excuses would make it even worse. So I reply a simple reply and hope she's calmed down by the time I come home.
She hasn't. I'm met with an extremely stressed out woman who's indulged in one-too-many unsavoury nappies, so I'm immediately handed a child. If I'm lucky, there's not a poo explosion. Usually there is. She's even phoned me in the car on my way home before (on several occasions) to ask how long I'll be to see if a pooey nappy could somehow be 'saved' for me. Luckily, it never has. Yet.
She needs a break, I get that. But so do I. Both of us learnt quickly that it's not a competition; we are both tired. At the end of the day, she's exhausted and overwhelmed by baby related tasks, and I have an ever-exploding head full of business matters, baby bits and how I've been a shit let down, (according to the expression on her face) again. I haven't even had a second to catch up with my friends, so I spend an hour or so on my phone trying to catch up with the world, usually on the sofa after dinner. But this is a definite cause for bollocking. So I take it. Because she's stressed.
Guess what I am yet? A stressed out Dad, and person too.
*
So my husband would never actually write a blog post and display it on social media; for starters, he doesn't say anything. but he doesn't have to. His expression says it all. It's no secret that a baby and relationship is extremely difficult to manage. Joe and I are no exception. But recently after a serious and very long chat, we both discovered that we are actually feeling EXACTLY the same - just he felt as though he didn't have as much right to say he's stressed out because I spend 90% of my time with Amelie. So this gave me a chance to (for the first time) EMPATHISE with him. Here he is, emotionally rock solid and always working to improve our situation in every way, yet all I could see were the surface behaviours which were not only annoying but completely frustrating me. Then I put myself in his shoes and kinda understood. I'm not sure how many dads feel like this, and I'm fairly certain they don't scower the Internet for mummy blogs.. The closest thing to 'mums' men look at would be on a TOTALLY different kind of website! But I just wanted to raise awareness of the other side of the coin as it were, because it was a real lightbulb moment for me!
I'm currently in the process of phasing out my blog posts from being linked to my personal Facebook account with a view for me to solely use my new Facebook page dedicated to this blog in a couple of months. If you would like to continue with me on my journey of motherhood, please head over to my page here and give it a like to continue receiving post updates. Alternatively, you can search 'Mumming Madness'
Love this so much bud!! Glad you're both working on things! I did actually almost cry again at this.. I swear it's every time!! Xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteDid you?? Ah I don't mean to! Haha. I'm just not a fan of everything looking perfect on social media and thought this would let people know it's ok to be in a shit spot 😱🙈😁
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