So I thought I'd write a quick post about all the times where I haven't quite been 'mumming' it for the win. Here is a list of things that (shouldn't, but definitely have) made me laugh this far:
1. After a recent poo explosion, I hastily tugged at the poppers on the incredibly soiled baby vest - this led to a sizeable chunk of poo being accidentally flung onto my baby's lip! Not sure how I'm going to explain to her that her first 'solid' was... Poo!
2. Motherhood is exhausting! So, I fell asleep. Only, I woke up dribbling on the baby's head! Oops.
3. Happily showing off my baby in the supermarket (old people love babies) only to notice she had a GIANT bogey on her cheek.
4. In effort to soothe the wailing of an ever-hungry baby, I unknowingly unscrewed the entire bottle lid while I was trying to take the bottle cap off, so ended up sloshing her in the face with a gush of milk. Poor baby!
5. Out for coffee with Joe and I changed a nappy. As we were walking to the car, she did another poo. Rather than take the million layers of clothes off her (it was March and freezing) we ran back to the car and drove home to change our pooey baby in comfort - a 10 minute journey.
5. Soiled herself multiple times in the night, each time needing a complete change of outfit. Noticed the night after that she was wearing 'the odd looking vest' backwards for the day!
6. First time she fell asleep in her bouncer in the evening - we kept her in it for her first stretch of sleep for 2/3 hours. (These were the days where a WHOLE hour of sleep was a luxury.
7. I sat on the loo, with baby in hand to avoid the chance of her having a meltdown because she'd been put down.
8. Poo explosion all over first outfit ? Check. Poo explosion all over spare outfit? Check. So I sacrificed my strap top to fashion (an incredibly unfashionable) dress for the baby, and drove home, 20 miles in a bra. Lucky it was 24 degrees!
9. Obsessing with my baby's perfect feet and playing kisses, only to realise she had dipped her heel in her nappy clearly, which I had missed until I felt poo on my chin. I've forgiven her now.
10. Preparing for a nice lunchtime meal out, sitting out in the sunshine, go in to order and notice the baby is rolling in the buggy so shout to Joe, who's sitting (or was) next to her: "Joe grab our fucking kid!!" Hahaha, this is probably my favourite and most shameful one, but she was fine of course - she had probably made it 6 inches before she was rescued!
These still make me chuckle, hopefully social services can see the funny side and let me off these accidental mum fails! I'm still learning!
I love the messages I receive in response to my blog posts! If anyone else has any shameless (shameful) mum fails id love to hear them!
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