You Look Like a Mum

Hair up in a zero-effort bun? Check. Spot explosion because you don't have time to sleep let alone do your 'skin routine'? Yes. Outfit that has a comfort level of a million but appeal level of minus one trilli-bazillion? Absolutely. I've said before it's liberating to feel good about yourself while simultaneously looking (and feeling to be fair) like you've just done the cha cha cha with a level 5 hurricane, but by the time it's starting to calm down as your baby matures, the excuses are harder to formulate.

So I may be getting my head round the baby stuff - ish - but I'm kind of equally becoming ok with looking rough. NOT COOL, VIV! This dawned on me when Joe commented on my appearance:

"You look like a real Mum today"

 Ah, great. I've cracked it was my immediate thought. But the expression on joes face resembled a tomato which was in the final stages of the sun-drying process. So it didn't take me long to figure out that this was not in any way a complimentary statement, more like a disgusted observation. Oops. In truth it shocked me more than I expected  because I had replaced my usual nest-looking bun for a side plait and I'd even put on make-up for the day! Admittedly not any eyeliner because by the time I had come to my eyes, Amelie had had enough of 'Maya and Yaya' the dialogue-free characters, and I quickly just put some mascara on. But still, quizzical (even though I knew he meant it in the most negative way possible) I opted to seek clarification of my lovely husband's observation.

"What do you mean?" I giggled but this was no laughing matter. My 'roughness' was becoming too noticeable now!

"Well that's just a really mum top, you're covered in milk and stuff."

Thanks Joe.

 It was actually the first time this week I had decided to wear one of my own tops and not his, but obviously being covered in milk ruined this effort on my part and completely counteracted my intention of making an effort.

So my question is this. What now? Should I be wasting loads of effort and time getting glam everyday when sometimes I don't even see anyone but the postman. (And if we're a little skint and I've curbed my online shopping habit, not even the postman for me) or walk around the supermarket in heels, probably teaching Amelie bad habits by the time I've sworn my head off at the agony and discomfort of pushing a trolley with completely ridiculous footwear? What do mums do aside from play with babies and go to baby groups? I recently went swimming wearing my 'public face' which is just a full face made up and then melted quicker than a snowman in the desert from the extreme heat of the summer house which housed the pool, only to resort to grabbing a baby wipe and getting rid of about 35 minutes worth of 'effort'. I'm a bit of a fan of lipstick but I'm also a fan of kissing my baby a million times per day so the two can't really coexist, and if I have to choose... sayonara lipstick, of course.

I long for the day where you look like a mum because you're covered in milk is something that makes me smile and not feel instantly awful about myself. Because sometimes I'm not the mum covered in milk. Sometimes, and more often than not I'm covered in way worse. So milk, it's a blessing.

A mum covered in milk is a mum that's been rushing around tidying up in the 10-15 minutes that the baby will tolerate being left to amuse herself. She tidies up so her husband comes home to a clean house, and so he doesn't have to help. She may have grasped a few of these window of opportunities where the baby doesn't require immediate stimulation and consequently she may have nearly finished tidying all of the house, but then notices the baby only has one clean bottle left and she's got no idea when she'll next get a spare second, so (even though the baby is clearly ratty by now) she opts to quickly wash and sterilise bottles as well. The mum has pushed her luck for time. Taken the biscuit so much that by the time the bottles are in the steriliser, the little one is screaming for a cuddle or a feed (if I'm lucky) but usually there's a massive shit in her nappy. So Mummy quickly makes up another bottle (probably the 5th one since waking, and it's only just past noon) and accidentally tipples of bit of milk powder down herself.  So a messy mum might not be the most attractive look but it is one desperately trying to stay in control - all so that the first thing she says when her husband walks in after a long day at work isn't "she's gunna be hungry,can you quickly hold the baby or wash the bottles?" but instead says "Hello, did you have a nice day?"

I may look like a Mum, but I think that that's just fine. For now.